LawrenceLim
My prayer: Dear God Heavenly Father, please let this be my sincere prayer to You. I've fully dedicated this blog to You. Please use it as You will for Your purpose. Do keep me encouraged to do this for You even when nobody seems to be interested in it.

Please grant me whatever gifts or help required, including providential circumstances and Your specific directions, not just to do this blog for you, but also to work Your will through me. I belief that if I pray in accordance to Your will, You will be pleased to answer my prayers.

Grant me the desire to do what is pleasing to You, that I can glorify You throughout my life. Forgive me my sins Lord, and the half hearted obedience that displeases You. Change me through & through, that I can be useful & pleasing to You.

Let me be sensitive to Your voice, that I will know what You want me to do for You. Help me be obedient to You, and to delight in You. Teach me how to fear You, and what it means to really love You and live for You.

I hope when I finally come to see You, You'll say:' Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.'

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.




My Current Problems So Far:
  • Bad Time Management
  • Lack Discipline To Do My Quiet Time So Far
  • Still Struggling With My Faith When Things Aren't Okay
  • Still Quite Reliant On People "Emotional Vice".
  • I Really Miss My Friends! :(

    Changes I Really Want To See In Myself:
  • To Be More God-Dependent
  • Spiritually Sensitive To His Leading
  • Obedient To God "Which I am still struggling"
  • More Dependeble, At The Same Time, Encouraging To Someone Else
  • More Disciplined
  • Much More Prayerful
  • Being Bold For God

    Most of the post-ups here are devotional thoughts that I subscribed else where. Other than these are just entries regarding my daily devotionals & happenings. I am not a good writer, at least not yet. But I do have the desire to let God use both my blogs mightily for His glory. I pray in Jesus name that you'll be blessed with the messages posted up here. God bless you!
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    My Favourite Blogs:

    Melissa Tian
    Melissa's Sister
    Another Melissa
    My Xanga Blog
    Another Blog Of Mine
    Grace Melody Moo Meng Huey
    GraceMelodyMoo
    Moo Meng Chyi
    Sarah Morgan
    Charissa
    Charissa's Other Blog
    Daphne Lee
    Daphne Lee's Other Blog
    Daphne Lee's 3rd Blog
    Sweety
    Becca
    choi*UnchainMe
    XueYan
    Kim
    Angel Floral
    Shanon
    Nick
    Belinda
    Brooke
    Brooke's Second Blog
    Brooke's Third Blog
    Brooke's Fourth Blog
    Brooke's Fifth Blog
    Brooke's Sixth Blog
    Brooke's Personal Site
    Erintan
    Sarebabe
    Sarebabe's Newblog
    Jey's Blog
    Kathleen Tan
    Fickleminded
    Haileysmom
    Paul's Blog
    Paul's Second Blog
    Paul's Third Blog
    Nancze
    Katsmouse
    Maria
    Weebie
    Diamonds in the Rough
    Geannie
    God's Child
    Greenstonenz
    Meesh
    My Heart, God's Home
    Pam
    Sparrows Song
    Tuff Toe-Nail
    Saved By Grace
    Proverbial Wife
    Proverbial Wife's New Blog
    Nastasshea
    myfairy-tale
    Amanda
    Yap Ee Wen
    Micah
    Uptowngurl
    RyanFung
    Mr Standfast
    Gaurdian Of The Holy Flame
    Waitingone
    My Mutterings
    Pastoral Ramblings
    Pastor Steven's Second Blog
    Pastor Isaiah
    Pastor Frank
    Pastor SivinKit
    Pastor Rick
    Heavensblessings
    Covermewithdreams
    Tidbits
    Princessdeirdre
    Princessdeirdre's Second Blog
    Gavin's Blog
    Michelle Wong
    Sheryl Chong
    Rebecca Liew
    Beeba
    Daily Verse
    Jaimekate
    Blueskelton
    Deborah
    Deborah's Second Blog
    Alexandria Lim
    Jaslyn Lai
    Christine
    Stephanie
    Logtar's Blog
    Agape
    Lady4Jesus
    Life Being Beautiful
    Living By The Spirit
    In His Garden
    Relections Of Life
    Tender Heart
    Monileigh's Blog
    Becca's Blog
    Kimberly's Blog
    Micah
    Dewgem
    eLiZaBeTh
    anon getting real
    Joshua Tan
    Melissa Lim
    Auyong Wai Nyan
    Lucas Chong
    Stephanie
    Ken Arnold
    Karl
    Susan's Blog
    LemuelTan
    sapphire_pearl's other blog
    Faeridrops
    Sharon
    Vicki
    Janice
    Janice's Second Blog
    Janice's Third Blog
    Alissa
    Sandy
    Sandy's Second Blog
    Joanne
    Lizzie Hie
    Star
    Paula
    Paula 2
    Paula 3
    Paula 4
    Paula 5
    suit lin
    Johnathan's Blog
    Yanisin
    Saija
    Lillymaria
    Collin's Blog
    Debra Mingle
    Woo Chiu Yen
    Tabitha Ong's 2nd Blog
    Prayer Blog
    Jojo
    Charles
    Our Prayer Blog
    Adam
    ALLISON
    Joanne
    Jsamine
    Ethel
    Ange
    Amy's Blog
    Donna's First Blog (By His Grace Alone)
    Donna's Second Blog (WHITE AS SNOW)
    Elizabeth
    Thomas
    Jana's First Blog
    Jana's Second Blog
    Gavin's Site
    Annabelle's Blog
    Christ-Cherished Little Princess
    Prayer Blog
    Martha

    My Xanga Bloggers:

    Kathleen Tan
    Cheryl Mohan
    Cheryl Mohan's 2dn Blog
    Kelvin Lim
    Erin Tan
    Chels
    Betty Li
    John Yen
    Melissa
    Carolyn
    Jacie
    christy forschbach
    Daphne Cheah
    Nina (Snippetts)
    Brotherjun
    Jeremy Lodish
    Hannah
    Gaurdian of The Holyflame
    dorkie_azn
    ms_fury
    final_solution
    kATARINAgISELLE
    dannie_d
    haileyhero48
    spokenvessel
    Hismouthpiece
    mutansmurf
    Varelse
    twinkychan
    yuto_dad
    haksunli
    erikiut
    Jameslam
    Minoque
    Leng Si
    Alexander618
    daphne_uijen
    BibleGirl
    Valerietan
    Soon Yuen Ling
    cupid1
    Wong Ee Ling
    lucasluk
    jemmtt
    Melcwf
    Light Child
    rebecca_w
    Michelle Ng
    Cynthia Lye
    Noisygal
    spikedkelvin
    babythanatos
    Serene Yeoh
    Tabitha Ong
    Jialin See
    Eric Chau
    Phing Tan
    Johnathan Foo
    TheVoice
    FrenchGal4Christ
    Op SaHoon
    wochrist
    eternalsolace
    Jane Loke
    Ezinma
    Romans1017
    Miss Jen
    sapphire_pearl

    My Favourite Links:

    Jesusfreakhideout
    BibleGateway
    Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra

    If you have anything useful, such as something inspirational or useful for the Spiritual Walk, do share it, mail them to me. I'll post it up here, and will definitely give you credit for it "not money of course!". The Lord will definitely bless you for your contribution. Remember, we're doing this for the Lord, not for ourselves.
    Let's glorify our Lord together, and He will make use of what seemingly small in your eyes and make it into something big for His kingdom.
    By the way, here's my other blog.

    My Contacts:
    MSN Messenger: moo78052027@yahoo.co.uk
    ICQ: 104120334

    online
    Counters
    Counters

    Guess I'll put these here as well. These poems are written by my sister in Christ, Yi Qing as she was inspired by the Lord Himself. I pray in Jesus name, that you'll be blessed as well, amen.

    When God Doesn't Seem To Be Near

    "Do you need a sign to feel I’m there,
    To be really sure that I do care?
    I’m the air you breathe, I’m all around,
    I’m there even when things are upside down.

    You may not feel that I’m all that near,
    No matter how you strain to hear.
    But…the eternal Truth will always be true,
    That no matter what you feel, I truly love you.

    Maybe this is the part you don’t understand,
    Why is it you need My help but can’t see My hand.
    It’s because, you’ve missed this vital part,
    That the reason is because I live…in your heart.

    Don’t just reach out to a space so far,
    Reach within, into the very core of who you are.
    When you believe Me, you ushered Me in,
    So when you’re desperate for me, search within.

    I’m the reason you live, you belong to Me,
    And if you let Me, I’ll live in you and you in Me,
    Abide in Me and see, that I will be your God for eternity" says the Lord.

    To Whoever’s Out There...

    When you’re depressed and feeling lost,
    Everything you believe is questioned.
    You wonder and wonder if life’s worth it’s cost,
    Cuz in everything you just don’t get the connection.

    The world is cold, twitched and dark,
    Whatever smile you have is fake.
    You feel you have nothing actually,
    And all that you actually have are lost.

    In that deep despair you loose your strength,
    You don’t run, you don’t hide.
    It all seems so pointless to you,
    Cuz something is eating you on the inside.

    You think you’re crazy, you think you’d die,
    You don’t want to face tomorrow.
    You need something beyond yourself,
    Yet you try to hide all your sorrows.
    Thinking that no one cares…no one understands,
    Everything is cruel, just wrong and pointless.

    But a knock comes at the door of your heart,
    You refuse to be bothered.
    An envelope is slipped in under the door,
    Just the sight of it makes you feel warmer.

    You opened it despite yourself,
    It’s a handwriting you don’t recognize.
    You read the poem written inside,
    And tears flooded your eyes.

    Your questions remain unanswered,
    Your accusations unjustified.
    Nothing is explained, nothing is changed.
    Except that now, those are of second importance.

    You still don’t understand,
    But you’re somehow stronger,
    No longer screaming on the inside.
    Something in the poem,
    Something God said,
    Just touched you deeper,
    Than anything else would,
    Deeper than you had though possible.
    Truly…God is a God of Miracles,
    Since He has healed your hurting heart?

    ~Written by Tan Yi Qing~



    Some Fun Tests I Took:

    Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
    Pure. "I've been waiting in the dark for a long
    time, shining my beacon of hope through the
    shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
    eyes from me."
    The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
    and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
    Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape. As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
    You may have a strong moral code, but
    regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
    to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
    emotional forms and it's just a matter of
    waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
    say you are too idealistic, but it's only
    because you don't want to mess things up.

    What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    You are Naruto!
    You are Naruto!

    Which Naruto Character Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Sally
    You are Sally!

    Which Peanuts Character are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    How to make a Lawrence
    Ingredients:
    1 part intelligence
    5 parts courage
    3 parts beauty
    Method:
    Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness

    Username:

    Personality cocktail
    From Go-Quiz.com
    Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
    Name/username/nickname:
    favorite color:
    best physical quaility:face
    best personality trait:you can solve any social problem
    will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?it depends
    when will you get married?February 18, 2020
    your kiss is:mixed messages
    People date you because:you're smart
    Quiz created with MemeGen!


    "ACHTUNG!
    Lawrence Lim Tao Chin may actually be a spider-human hybrid

    Username:
    From Go-Quiz.com

    LOOK OUT!
    ïòð
    Lawrence Lim is a radioactive squirrel!!

    Username:
    From Go-Quiz.com

    >
    WARNING
    Lim Tao Chin is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

    Username:
    From Go-Quiz.com

    PARENTAL
    ADVISORY
    LAWRENCE CONTAINS
    EXPLICIT LYRICS

    Username:
    From Go-Quiz.com

     

     

     

    Delight yourself in the Lord and
    He will give you the desires of your heart.
    -Psalm 37:4

    Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone. To have
    a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and
    exclusively. But to a Christian, God says no. Not until you're satisfied
    and fulfilled and content, unreservedly to me alone. I do love you my
    child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be
    found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I
    have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you
    are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

    I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am. Keep learning and
    listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Don't be anxious. Don't
    worry. Don't look around at the things that others have gotten or that
    I've given them. Don't look around at the things that you think you
    want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or
    you'll miss what I want to show you.

    And when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more
    wonderful than any would ever dream of. You see, until you are ready
    and until the one I have for you is ready, until you are both satisfied
    exclusively with Me and the life I have planned for you, you won't be
    able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,
    and is thus perfect love. I am working even this minute, to have both of
    you ready at the same time. And dear child, I want you to have the most
    wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your own
    relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the
    everlasting union of beauty and perfection that
    I offer you with Myself.

    KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU. I AM ALMIGHTY GOD.
    BELIEVE AND BE SATISFIED.

     

     

     

     

     

     


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    Tuesday, January 12, 2010
    Some Updates

    Dear all,

    It's been more than 2 years since my last post and I have to say that I miss what I do over here. When I first started this blog many years ago, my goal is to show people the life of a Christian or more appropriately, God's work in my life as a Christian. It's encouraging to see that God used me to be a blessing and an encouragement to others and I would love to continue to be used for that purpose as long as I live.

    Just an update to all who have been following me in my life's journey (and Spiritual too), I'm now married to Brooke. We married on June 21st, 2008, and I immigrated to the States, volunteered in a mission's field ministering to the internationals alongside my wife in MAPS (Missions America Placement Service) by the Assemblies of God about a year and a half. Back then, we were living on half of our mission's budget due to some complications but we pulled through by God's grace. The Lord did help us in many ways and sometimes even in surprising ways.  For example, we had finances and food given to us in miraculous ways.  All we did was praying and trusting in the Lord.

    Next, it was the matter of my unemployment.  Last year was the final year of our MAPS term and we were anxious looking for jobs in Ann Arbor, Michigan. As we all know, the economy was bad and Michigan was rated number one in the unemployment rate. I desired so much to stay in Michigan and both Brooke and I have been praying hard for a job for a few months. As a result, the Lord opened a door here in Ottumwa, Iowa.  Walmart in Ottumwa gave me a call and told me about my job application has been approved.  Right now, I am working as a sales associate in the Electronics department at Walmart. Even though this isn't my dream –job, but I will be following the Lord each step of the way, wherever He'll lead me. I have to say that the Lord has been with us all the time, even when there are times when we lose faith due to the circumstance but that doesn't change His nature in being faithful.

    Right now, I have a wife (a 7-year prayer which the Lord has answered), a fulltime job at Walmart, a Greyhound called DeeDee (a retired racer which we adopted from the Greyhound of East Michigan GEM), a hedgehog (Buddy), and a nice apartment which grandpa provided for us. We Are Blessed!

    I do hope that eventually, I will be able to have a job that allows me to have time with my family in the evenings and weekends, earning a good income and continue to have to opportunity to meet and minister to people that God brings into my life, even for a minute. Regardless of whether that will happen, I will focus on Him as my Shepherd and fulfill whatever plan that He has for my life.

    Till then, please continue to keep us (my family) in prayer as we trust in the Lord to help us financially as we're still not quite out of the pit yet. May the Lord use this message to show you that He is faithful and the God who we can trust. He knows all of our needs and have been faithfully helping us through all the way.  Lastly, I would like to end my post with a few verses and hope that they'll speak to you. Be blessed!

    In Christ,
    ~Lawrence~

    Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Living Translation)
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
         do not depend on your own understanding.
    Seek his will in all you do,
          and he will show you which path to take.

    Matthew 6:31-34 (New International Version)
    So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

    Posted at 11:53 am by LawrenceLim
    Comments (3)  

    Wednesday, September 19, 2007
    I'm Engaged

    Dear all,

    Wow, I can't believe my last post was 9 months ago! Apologies for not posting anything for so long, as I've been busy with work. I want to thank you for leaving comments of concern or even emailing me (you know who you are). I am deeply touched. I'm blessed to have you all in my life...

    Anyway, just want to update this blog myself regarding something that is new in my life - I'm engaged. I thank God and am amazed in how faithful He is in answering my heart's desire. The truth is, I sometimes find this unbelievable as this is happening to me! Too good to be true…All I did was to pour my heart out to the Lord regarding this heart's desire of mine (I long to serve God alongside my spouse -  I've been praying since 2001 I guess) plus a little extra ( I told God I would like to marry someone fairer than me lol!).

    When I look back for all these years, I see His hand in preparing this answer step by step…God has provided in miraculous ways and all, moving my family and hers, the American Embassy and our churches to work things out. He has never been late to answer, just me doubting and procrastinating a little…but He still remained faithful regardless of my state of doubting…

    If you want to know more, do visit my fiancée's blog in http://writersheart.blogspot.com to find out more. It's just too much for me to spill the beans…lol!

    All I want you all to know is that God is faithful, and He is able to do more than you dare to ask or imagine! It is true as it has happened in my life! Keep praying, and then commit it to God totally, don't try to restrict God, don't keep Him in the box for He is more than able to do things better than we all can. Let God has His way for He knows our deepest longing and desires (He is the one who put the desires there) and He knows best how to fulfill them. He knows when, He knows how, He knows best!

    In Him,
    ~Lawrence~

    Ephesians 3:20-21 (New International Version)

    Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


    Posted at 05:49 pm by LawrenceLim
    Comments (8)  

    Monday, December 04, 2006
    Drained-Up Due To Caring For Others?

    We drain-up ourselves when we carry burdens which are supposed to be carried by the Lord Himself. We rely on our own strength rather than on God who wants us to cast our cares upon Him. In truth, He is the one who knows best how to help us with our problems. We can be there for our brothers and sisters in Christ, yet we are to commit their burdens to the Lord, and not putting those yoke upon our shoulders. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we should encourage them to commit their burdens to Him who is there for them. It is not the Lord's will to drain us with other people's problems, it is His will for us to entrust our cares upon Him, so we will not be distracted by those burdens and be able to focus on our walk with Him, which is our God-given highest priority.

    I personally think that the best approach to care for others is to be there for them, encourage them to turn to the Lord. We are to do this with His love, His wisdom, His strength. This can only be done when we avail ourselves for Him to use us, to show Himself through us. Only then they can feel His love, His concern and all for them, and see Jesus through us. It is Him who should be shown through our actions, to help them through us, to love them through us.

    In Him,
    ~Lawrence~

    Matthew 11:28-30 (New Living Translation)
    Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."


    Posted at 04:20 pm by LawrenceLim
    Comments (5)  

    Thursday, October 26, 2006
    Some Updates

    Dear all,

    Is there such thing as hearing from God yet misinterpreted the true meaning of what God intended to say? Misinterpreting God's will isn't just misleading, but can be disastrous in jeopardizing our walk in living out God's perfect and specific will for each of our lives. I need more discernment in understanding His will, not just hearing from Him. All I can do is to do the above, trusting Him to lead me each step of the way, and that He'll be faithful to lead me back on the right track should I walk astray. Of course, not to miss out on the requirements of being obedient on our part in every step of the way, the known written will of God that we learn from the bible. I'm feeling rather confused, and there is some sort of sorrow and depression in my heart with reasons unknown. Perhaps I've been ignoring my own feelings, like brushing it aside in order to focus on what I need to do and doing so for long has let these feelings accumulate till it came to the point that I do not the true cause of what made me feel this way. Only God knows the causes of my emotion. Other than that, I confess that I haven't' been spending much time with God and have been missing the dail y divine appointment, my quiet time isn't that consistent. Too often I was occupied with some other things, my mind couldn't focus on Him when I finally do it, was distracted by other thoughts and weariness. I think this too can be one of the factor that causes my current emotions. Again, the Lord knows. I'll get back to Him.

    Anyway, the above is something which bothers me currently and has been happening for quite sometime now. I would appreciate that you'll keep me in prayer that He'll reveal His will clearly to me as I continue to keep myself on the right track with Him. Thank you in advance!

    Well, to my friends who have been reading my blog (even if it's a few months ago) and wondered what had happened to me since my last entry which was about 3 months ago, I am sorry for the worries I've caused. First thing first, I'm alright and am currently working as a full-time staff in my church. I'm serving as multimedia personnel in Calvary Communication – an extended ministry of my church (Calvary Church of A/G). Ever since I completed my short term Bible School (AIM – which stands for Asian Institute Of Ministries), I prayed for the Lord's leading and regarding the desire to serve Him fulltime. I acknowledged this issue to my senior pastor during AIM Lunch session and he asked me to pray about it and said that he is willing to help me to get to where God wants me to go. A month or so later, I was asked to help out in designing and editing the Church Camp booklet, and Pastor Steven handed me a form saying that senior pastor recommended me to try out the Living Sacrifice program. Basically, this course requires an interview and all yet senior pastor has actually "okayed" even before I apply for it. Anyway, I took the form home, read and prayed about it and came back to the office to inquire more information regarding the Living Sacrifice program. In the end the head of the Missions department (Pastor Peter) came to me and started with the interview when all I came for was just merely for information inquiries. After the interview, he was pleased with my willingness to serve and mentioned that he will have a meeting with the Missions committee in order to give me the final answer for my enrolment. A week later, I met up with Pastor Peter and he said that it'll be wise for me to get a fulltime job than enrolling the Living Sacrifice due to the situation of my family. He mentioned that Calvary Communication ministry needs people and he suggested me to Jim (the head of Calvary Communications ministry, who is now my boss) and I said that the same thing – that I'm willing to take this leap of faith. A few days later, I was interviewed by Jim and accepted the job offer, started working in August (with 3 months probation) and last week I got a confirmation letter that I've completed my probation and am now officially accepted to continue working in this department.

    Personally, I think mine is a rare occasion and this can never happen without God working behind the scene and leading me, opening each door etc. What I've heard is that usually for those who desire to serve as full time staff in my church, they have to go through Living Sacrifice program for a year, they must be an official member of Calvary Church and all. The truth is I am not even an official member of my church yet and here I am serving as an official staff of Calvary Church. I am also in the process of fulfilling my membership requirement now.

    In all, I praise and thank Him who has lead me thus far. Even though serving in church has it's ups and downs, I've encountered various challenges (dealing with people whom I am not comfortable with is one of them), learning and doing something which I never studied in my college (I studied business and here I am serving as a multimedia personnel) and lot's more…I'm believing God to lead me from here (where I am working now and all the challenges I'm currently facing I consider as stepping stones – a molding process which God uses to prepare me for whatever purpose He has for me) to where He desires. I need to be strong and I'm relying on His strength each step of the way. I have my fears, yet I also have some level of excitement / curiosity of what God is doing and where He is leading me from here.

    That's all for now my friends, till later.

    In Him,
    ~Lawence~

    PS: Thank you Beeba and Rita for leaving me messages on the Tagboard. This blog looked so dead and I was thinking of closing it, but now...I think I'll keep it. Thanks so much to both of you, inclusive of those who dropped by.

    Ahem! A picture of my Yorkshire Terrier Milo!Tongue


    Posted at 01:21 am by LawrenceLim
    Comments (5)  

    Monday, July 10, 2006
    Journal, Plain & Simple

    Hmm…no, this is not a testimony but rather a journal about what’s occurring in my life right now. Please don’t continue to read unless you truly want to be affected by my negative emotions – be warned.

    I know most of my post that are written by me reveals that I’m a person with a pessimist mindset. Lately (actually it has been a few months) that I’ve been feeling rather “down” in my life, emotionally, spiritually, etc… Feeling rather drained out right now. Trusting God isn’t easy, lest living for Him. Not that I will give up my salvation, it’s just that in my opinion, we may not have all we desire in this life on earth as Christians, and we may not experience all of God’s blessings on earth but in heaven thus storing up treasures in heaven. The requirement of having contentment in this thought is to have the eternal perspective, and not the short-sighted earthly perspective that life here on earth is all that it is. Though I do know intellectually that what’s in Heaven is better, yet I just don’t feel contended or fulfilled unless I have all my earthly desires fulfilled. That’s just me, I want to have all my earthly hearts’ desires fulfilled here on earth before I leave earth because I can’t enjoy some of these desires in heaven…funny but true…but shall not elaborate further. Will He grant me all my hearts desires, and hopefully not less than what I desire? Bible says God is capable of doing more than what we dare to ask of Him. I agree that God is capable, but the question is that will He, or is He willing to grant me what I ask for? I’m sorry to say that I don’t have that much faith in believing that all my hearts desires will come true. The fact is that life here on earth isn’t a bed of roses, and this stays true to all people, including Christians. I think that even I as a Christian, not all prayers for will come true, but only some…for all prayers are subjected to His will. That’s why I don’t dare to hope too much, fearing that the more hope I put in, the more vulnerable I will be to experience disappointment. I’ve been disappointed enough due to expecting too much…I do know of people who are carefree in their perspective in life. Whether they have what they want, whether their desires are fulfilled or not, they’re fine either way. All they do is to just “cruise” through life. Maybe they’re happier people, and on the other hand, yet on the other hand I consider them people who are shallow in life…due to their lack of purpose in life. I expect much in life, to be honest. I am focused, making sure that everything I do will bring desired consequences, if not I rather not spend my effort doing it. I confess my motives is partially self-centered. Serving God is a desire I have in my heart, a pure desire… in doing what He asks me to do, yet on the other hand, I also hope He’ll meet my ends. It’s just me, as I don’t like being betrayed or cheated, nor to out-give…It’s my nature…I may be testing God, not for fund. Even in giving Him and serving Him, putting in money and effort, there are always doubts and fear within me of whether He will be faithful in providing my needs as I serve Him. Not that I serve Him for money or anything. It’s out of my desire to do so, God given I think. But the doubts that He may not grant me what I hope for is evident. Thus the anxiety and all…I still hope that God will bring ALL my hearts desires to fulfillment before I leave earth…I just want this as blessings from Him. I do not like being deprived of my hearts desires; neither I want those desires to change or to be taken away but fulfilled completely. Rather demanding Sorry to God regarding this issue. It’s just not Christ-like I know. It’s strange that I’m still clinging upon Him in life as my responses above aren’t “CHRISTian” at all. Yet there is a desire to want to please Him…I am rather confused about myself….It’s not that I want to upset Him for being selfish…I can’t help feeling this way…I don’t want to be deprived of what I long for. I am upset that being a Christian has to be so tough…

    What is my purpose to be a Christian? To be saved? God revealed Himself to me, and I believed. That’s how I came to know of Him intellectually. Giving my life over to Him? I did that, because I felt His love and that He has revealed to me the true meaning of Salvation, living a life which is not my own but of Christ, which He lived in a way that is perfectly pleasing to God, thus us who accepted this gift have become pleasing and acceptable to Him and are redeemed – all because of what Christ did, not our effort. Is He now my Lord and not just my Savior? Did I turn all my life over to His control? Hmm…in words of prayer I did so, but what about my heart…If I truly am surrendered to Him, I would have been willing to give up anything I desire just for His sake, but sadly I’m not. I am not completely willing. I still want my desires fulfilled in full. I don’t want to be deprived. I’m afraid that giving out my all will cost me so much that my desires will not be fulfilled. It’s self-centered…I’m only taking one step at a time…I’m afraid of going all out now…I’m not that sacrificial. Sorry for the disappointment…don’t take me a role-model...But if you want a role model for a worldly guy…I’m not the best choice either…I’m stuck in between…

    Another issue is that I’m still waiting for an answer regarding the Living Sacrifice program of my church. Regarding what this program is about, in short…it’s a one year commitment to serve the church, as an unofficial “worker”…a course designed for those who think that God may place in their heart a desire to serve Him fulltime…feeling called for ministry etc…I’m just feeling anxious about this, and also regarding or things in life. Anyway, I will be meeting Pastor Peter on Tuesday regarding this program. Please keep me in prayer yes?

    Anyway, enough babbling, sorry if I make anyone of you feeling distress or anything. This isn’t meant to entertain anyone, it’s a journal and I need to vent somehow. At least now I’m “blogging”. Isn’t this is what blog is created for?


    Posted at 02:47 am by LawrenceLim
    Comments (5)  

    Sunday, June 04, 2006
    Nothing To Be Proud Of

    Dear friends,

    Thanks for your comment and encouragement on my blog. To keep you all updated, I've been encouraged by senior pastor and my youth pastor to take up this Living Sacrifice program, a one year course where I'll serve the church in whatever ministry that needs people, yet not considered as an employment thus they don't give salary but reasonable amount of allowance. I've gotten the form and yet to sign up for it. I’ve also been interviewed by Pastor Peter who is in charge of this Living Sacrifice program. What I'm concerned now is regarding the financial part, and whether this is really God's will for me to take up this program. I haven't had any prompting of the inner witness regarding this issue. Please keep me in prayer yes? As for my relationship with the Lord, it has been ups and downs, trying to love Him yet having doubts about His plan for me, difficulty trusting Him to fulfill whatever desires which is in my heart. I've grown rather fearful of giving too much to Him that it'll cost me so much, and thus living the kind of life which deprives me from the things I desire....I know this isn't Christ-like, and it's rather self-centered than God-centered. I don't feel that I'm that Lawrence whom you used to know...I know there’s no such thing of out-giving God, for all things are His in the beginning, and when I read the notes from the bible in the book of Hosea, I told God that I couldn’t accept the fact where I have to suffer the loss, in order to benefit others yet not myself. Now my relationship with God is like a barter trade, I serve Him in order to get what I want from Him. Yet I know this isn’t what pleases Him. God would rather want our hearts than our service, and to serve Him out of gratitude, out of love for Him. That aside, I do have the desire to serve Him, and it has been there for quite sometime, not for the wrong reasons, but now due to the fear of what this will cost me, I continuously remind God to not deprive me my hearts desires as I serve Him for the rest of my life. I made a vow years ago to serve Him regardless of whether He will give me what I desire, now, things have changed. I will serve Him still, because of my vow, yet I will not give up praying daily regarding my hearts desire until I hear from Him, or until I get what I desire from Him. I’ve been persistent in praying for this…now….this is who I am now….There’s nothing to be proud of me, really…

    In Him,
    ~Lawrence~


    Posted at 03:42 am by LawrenceLim
    Comment (1)  

    Thursday, May 18, 2006
    Prayer Request

    AIM Graduation Tomorrow

    Dear all,

    Tomorrow I will be officially graduate from AIM (Asian Institute Of Ministries) a short term bible school program of my church, recognized by BCM (Bible College of Malaysia) . Yesterday was the day I received my final allowance from my dad, which also means that he will no longer support me financially because I told him that I want to work, even serving God in ministries, in church. He is not in favor with it, inclusive of the idea of me going to bible school, even though he is a believer himself, believing in the same God yet from a different perspective of God and how He works due to different denominational background. I am from the Assemblies of God, while he is from the Brethren background.

    Anyway, what makes this more difficult is that my mom is a person very against anything that has to do with Christianity. She only takes religion as something to benefit herself, yet not something to devote to. She is an unbeliever. Because of her, I cannot attend church on Sundays, except when she is not around on that day, or whenever I can find an opportunity to go, I will. I even lied to her just to create an opportunity to attend church on some occasions. I know this isn't God's way so I’m not encouraging anyone to do what I did.

    Right now I just consider this as a perfect timing that my dad gave my final allowance due to the reason that I will be an official AIM graduate tomorrow. I know this day will come and I’m quite prepared for it. Pastor Steven (My Youth Pastor, President of AIM and the Chairman of BCM) has asked me whether I’m serious in taking up the Living Sacrifice program – a one year program where the church will bring me to whatever ministries that need people, serving the church for one year as probation for being a fulltime staff for my church. As what I’ve mentioned in my previous posts, I have been checking my heart for a long time and I am very certain that I have the desire to serve God in wherever He leads me. This desire has been in my heart for quite a few years, and I do not have the passion to work in any secular jobs, meaning being a businessman or anything but only ministries. I do not know what my calling is, thus I joined AIM in order to receive ministry training and theology education, and also to by myself time to seek God in order to find out what He actually wants me to do. Now without the financial aid of my dad, it actually gives me the opportunity to trust God in giving me a job to finance myself, and also for training me to do whatever He wants me to do. Please be in prayer for me, as I know I need that badly. I’ve been praying for months, or even years for this but right now I still have not got any answer from Him yet. Please also pray that He'll provide me enough financially as what I heard about the Living Sacrifice program is that it doesn't give people salary, but only allowance which isn't quite much. I do not work for God because of this financial reason but to serve Him, yet I also cannot survive if I do not have enough to pay for my daily living. Really appreciate it if any of you can pray for me.

    In Him,
    ~Lawence~


    Posted at 04:37 pm by LawrenceLim
    Comments (3)  

    Sunday, May 14, 2006
    Photos From My Baptism Day

    Dear all,

    Here are the two photos taken on my baptism day. The two men who stood beside me in the baptism pool are associate pastors of my church. Pastor Peter Ong on my right and Pastor Timothy on my left. The baptism pool is in the sanctuary. Guess what? There is a one leg dead cockroach in the pool! Luckily I closed my mouth! Lol! As for another picture is me sharing my testimony before baptism. Please ignore my pimple yes? Be blessed!

    In Him,
    ~Lawrence~

     My Declaration Before Baptism (On my right is Associate Pastor Peter Ong, while on my left is Associate Pastor Timothy)

     This is me sharing my testimony before the baptism


    Posted at 01:22 am by LawrenceLim
    Comments (2)  

    Monday, May 08, 2006
    Just For Fun

    You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name... you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you.

    The Beast

    75%

    Sleeping Beauty

    63%

    Snow White

    50%

    Goofy

    50%

    Cinderella

    50%

    Peter Pan

    44%

    Pinocchio

    38%

    Ariel

    38%

    Donald Duck

    25%

    Cruella De Ville

    19%

    Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
    created with QuizFarm.com

    Posted at 02:45 am by LawrenceLim
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    Sunday, May 07, 2006
    Somewhat Interesting

    I was browsing around Blogdrive and I came across this: http://brandonstarr.blogdrive.com/archive/cm-11_cy-2004_m-11_d-14_y-2004_o-0.html

    Don’t need to argue with him though, as I know what really matters is the truth between me and Him. But do pray that this guy will be saved yes?

    In Him,
    ~Lawrence~

    Matthew 5:11 (New Living Translation)
    "God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers.


    Posted at 07:41 pm by LawrenceLim
    Comments (2)  

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