Dear all,

Is there such thing as hearing from God yet misinterpreted the true meaning of what God intended to say? Misinterpreting God's will isn't just misleading, but can be disastrous in jeopardizing our walk in living out God's perfect and specific will for each of our lives. I need more discernment in understanding His will, not just hearing from Him. All I can do is to do the above, trusting Him to lead me each step of the way, and that He'll be faithful to lead me back on the right track should I walk astray. Of course, not to miss out on the requirements of being obedient on our part in every step of the way, the known written will of God that we learn from the bible. I'm feeling rather confused, and there is some sort of sorrow and depression in my heart with reasons unknown. Perhaps I've been ignoring my own feelings, like brushing it aside in order to focus on what I need to do and doing so for long has let these feelings accumulate till it came to the point that I do not the true cause of what made me feel this way. Only God knows the causes of my emotion. Other than that, I confess that I haven't' been spending much time with God and have been missing the dail y divine appointment, my quiet time isn't that consistent. Too often I was occupied with some other things, my mind couldn't focus on Him when I finally do it, was distracted by other thoughts and weariness. I think this too can be one of the factor that causes my current emotions. Again, the Lord knows. I'll get back to Him.

Anyway, the above is something which bothers me currently and has been happening for quite sometime now. I would appreciate that you'll keep me in prayer that He'll reveal His will clearly to me as I continue to keep myself on the right track with Him. Thank you in advance!

Well, to my friends who have been reading my blog (even if it's a few months ago) and wondered what had happened to me since my last entry which was about 3 months ago, I am sorry for the worries I've caused. First thing first, I'm alright and am currently working as a full-time staff in my church. I'm serving as multimedia personnel in Calvary Communication – an extended ministry of my church (Calvary Church of A/G). Ever since I completed my short term Bible School (AIM – which stands for Asian Institute Of Ministries), I prayed for the Lord's leading and regarding the desire to serve Him fulltime. I acknowledged this issue to my senior pastor during AIM Lunch session and he asked me to pray about it and said that he is willing to help me to get to where God wants me to go. A month or so later, I was asked to help out in designing and editing the Church Camp booklet, and Pastor Steven handed me a form saying that senior pastor recommended me to try out the Living Sacrifice program. Basically, this course requires an interview and all yet senior pastor has actually "okayed" even before I apply for it. Anyway, I took the form home, read and prayed about it and came back to the office to inquire more information regarding the Living Sacrifice program. In the end the head of the Missions department (Pastor Peter) came to me and started with the interview when all I came for was just merely for information inquiries. After the interview, he was pleased with my willingness to serve and mentioned that he will have a meeting with the Missions committee in order to give me the final answer for my enrolment. A week later, I met up with Pastor Peter and he said that it'll be wise for me to get a fulltime job than enrolling the Living Sacrifice due to the situation of my family. He mentioned that Calvary Communication ministry needs people and he suggested me to Jim (the head of Calvary Communications ministry, who is now my boss) and I said that the same thing – that I'm willing to take this leap of faith. A few days later, I was interviewed by Jim and accepted the job offer, started working in August (with 3 months probation) and last week I got a confirmation letter that I've completed my probation and am now officially accepted to continue working in this department.

Personally, I think mine is a rare occasion and this can never happen without God working behind the scene and leading me, opening each door etc. What I've heard is that usually for those who desire to serve as full time staff in my church, they have to go through Living Sacrifice program for a year, they must be an official member of Calvary Church and all. The truth is I am not even an official member of my church yet and here I am serving as an official staff of Calvary Church. I am also in the process of fulfilling my membership requirement now.

In all, I praise and thank Him who has lead me thus far. Even though serving in church has it's ups and downs, I've encountered various challenges (dealing with people whom I am not comfortable with is one of them), learning and doing something which I never studied in my college (I studied business and here I am serving as a multimedia personnel) and lot's more…I'm believing God to lead me from here (where I am working now and all the challenges I'm currently facing I consider as stepping stones – a molding process which God uses to prepare me for whatever purpose He has for me) to where He desires. I need to be strong and I'm relying on His strength each step of the way. I have my fears, yet I also have some level of excitement / curiosity of what God is doing and where He is leading me from here.

That's all for now my friends, till later.

In Him,
~Lawence~

PS: Thank you Beeba and Rita for leaving me messages on the Tagboard. This blog looked so dead and I was thinking of closing it, but now...I think I'll keep it. Thanks so much to both of you, inclusive of those who dropped by.

Ahem! A picture of my Yorkshire Terrier Milo!